Dear E,
In the quest to find a slice of sanity after losing you I read scores of books...many filled with positive upbeat streams of butterflies and rainbow bullshit. To say the least most didn't help...I didn't need to hear "you'll get over it...be happy".
The one tome I did find laden with wisdom was C.S. Lewis's "A Grief Observed". He speaks with brutal honesty on his thoughts and feelings while journaling after losing his wife.
"If, as I can't help suspecting, the dead also feel the pains of separation (and this may be one of their purgatorial sufferings), then for both lovers, and for all pairs of lovers without exception, bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love."
Regardless of your stage in grief, I'd recommend you pick up a copy. My library had several or always available at Amazon...
Peace be with you....
4 comments:
Thanks for the book rec.
I really must start doing some more reading....
I personally don't think there can be such a thing as "getting over it"....
My Dad died 20 years ago this week. I'm still not over it, but I've gotten used to it. I don't expect to even reach that point with my late wife.
HI Sven - I found your blog searching "I miss my deceased wife".
Glad I found someone like me, even though as you said it is a horrible club, better to know there are others who share the same feelings as I do.
I lost my wife on July 1st 2008. She had a hideous neurological condition which was never in itself considered life threatening, but none the less after years of heavy medications and several brain surgeries I guess that morning her body just couldn't take it anymore.
Sounds like I have been on the same path as you.
I read "A Grief Observed" and found a whole new level of understanding and appreciation for Lewis.
What a ghastly concept that you can love someone in this life, but not be allowed to in the next.
I would recommend reading up on the concept of Marriage in Heaven as presented by Emanuel Swedenborg.
Though a lot of his stuff is really gothic one thing he was very clear on was that there is the union of two souls in Heaven.
Found this website shortly after she died that I found comforting and support of life with your love in the hereafter:
http://www.egogahan.com/
Also here is my own prayer I wrote to cope with the loss:
Dear Lord
Bring peace to my troubled heart
Let love be the center of who I am
Grant me the courage to face my problems
And the grace to accept your will even when it conflicts with my own.
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