Dipping my toe into the dating pool again...and it's uncomfortable.   I know I can't nor should try to replace you but find myself attracted to women that look like you, talk like you, act like you.   I even met one (online) with your name. Ridiculous as it seems, I take a little comfort in chatting with her.

I found your copy of "Mountain Man" by Vardis Fisher.   How you loved that book.  After reading a bit I find I like it and try to imagine your mind as you read it many times.  I loved the way your mind worked (well at least most of the time).

E has found a girlfriend, and I lifts my heart to see him with her.  Holding hands, sitting on your backyard swing.   I had "the talk" with him so you don't need to worry.  You never liked the having "the talk" with the boys...and felt it was the father's duty. 

I love you and miss you.

R

She died minutes after midnight on the first day of the month.

I miss her no less then I did that night.....and I'd still trade places with her.    She always talked about wanting to see the boys grow into young men.   She wanted grandkids, and to buy a cabin on a lake in Minnesota, and fish, and listen to the loons at night.

I've dated, but my heart isn't in it.   I'm lonely at times, but don't want to be with others either.  

Honey, I miss you and think about you often.    I'm not crippled with grief; I work, keep house, shop, and enjoy life.....but I miss you.    And will forever.    I hope I never stop.