What will matter in a hundred years from now?
That the stock market dropped?
That my 401k lost 1/3 it value?
That my son failed algebra?
That I had to put $1000 in an old car to keep it running?
I worry about so many things. Will I stay healthy? Will I keep my job? Will I have enough money to put my kids through college? Will my mom need to come live near or with us as she get's ill?
When my wife was fighting breast cancer I worried...what if she gets sicker? What if she dies? How will I take care of the kids and house?
And then, she died. And I've survived. I feel guilty that she died....and I didn't. I feel mad that she left me....and I go on living, dealing with problems while she doesn't have to. I feel sorry for her and what she slowly lost....first her energy, then strength, then spirit, and lastly her mind. I asked her in her last weeks what she would miss about living. Her response...."fun". The fun of living.
I honestly would trade places with her today. Let her live.....take me.
I write this for myself. I expect no one to ever read it....but I need to just push out the thoughts through my finger tips. Out into the ethernet of the web.
Maybe shes out there reading it.
I miss you hun.
